You’re deep in hock on the Christmas presents, you’ve been acosted by a drunken, possibly homeless Santa, and all you want is to sit down for five minutes and flush the memory of every credit card purchase you’ve made in the last seven days. The Suck UK shotgun flask is your whiskey-filled Nirvana. It’s amazing how motivated you can get to re-join the mall lemmings in holiday spending madness when you’ve got a Shotgun in your pocket. Turn that frown upside down with a little help from your friends at Suck UK. Just make sure you have a cab waiting for you, post Shotgun.

Buy for $20.00 (US)

Still dreaming of being a rock star? Rest your head on these guitar and amp pillow cases and put the rock and roll back in your dreams. The classic Fender Strat and practice amp prints are screenprinted on high quality cotton and nylon. This is the perfect gift for your musician friends, maybe even the musician in yourself. Fortunately, you can rock cheap with these bad boys. They’re under twenty five bucks.

Buy for $24.00

Here’s a great idea: Qoop.com offers a printing service to let you make customized calendars on quality paper using your own Flickr images. These large calendars feature heavy linen paper, and can feature American, Canadian, and European holidays. If you’re a total Scrooge you can get the “no holidays” calendar, but what fun is that? Doesn’t EVERYONE want to know when Boxing Day happens? We wanted to know if we can make a swimsuit calendar using other people’s Flickr images. Can you use these powers for evil? Yes, as the calendar image uploader takes the pics off your hard drive. But when we did a Flickr search on the word “hotties” we came up with this in the first page of results:

Maybe we should stick to using our own photos, eh?

Buy for $24.99

Do NOT send these bags thru the X-ray machine at the airport, unless you LIKE those cavity searches. These bags are good for just about everywhere else, though. Check out the contents! Brass knuckles, a pistol, a bottle of rotgut, cell phone…is that a can of ether in there? This must be an X-ray of Hunter “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas” Thompson’s bag. Yes, we believe it may just be . . .

Buy for $11.99  <via GadgetMadness.com>

So many ‘bots to meet, so little time! In honor of the Wired NextFest, and all the trippy robots, androids, and other artificial life forms we saw, we present what we believe could be the very first attempt to make nice with artificial lifeforms via a t-shirt. Welcome the machines, they only want to be our friends. Right? RIGHT?

Buy for $20

Long before he freaked out and started making Jesus torture movies, a much saner Mel Gibson starred in this mayhem-filled car crash epic directed by George Miller. The opening scene’s car chases and smash-em-ups alone are worth seeing, and then there’s that “kill ‘em all” conclusion. That this is an action classic, there is no doubt. What we absolutely cannot understand is how George Miller goes from ultraviolence, vehicular homicide, and total chaos to…

Yes, George “Mad Max” Miller is also responsible for the damn dancing penguins that were the bane of your existence this summer if you took a plane ride any longer than three hours. Unless these penguins are being incinerated in wrecked cars, we don’t want to know. Where’s Mel Gibson with the shotgun when you need him? Penguin sushi, anyone?

Buy the Mad Max Special Edition DVD for $12.77

Some people have a plastic Jesus on their dashboards. Screw that! You need the power of the Dark Side to navigate rush hour. See that yellow button at Darth’s feet? Hit that when traffic makes you feeling like strangling another Death Star commander. Pearls of pure evil from the mouth of Luke’s daddy will make it all better. The power of the police car to pull you over for going 5MPH faster than the law allows is nothing compared to the power of The Force.

Buy for $9.99

Products like these make us question whether there is a God. Who in their right minds would put bacon flavor in a breath mint? The sickest part of all this is, some people who try ‘em say that it works somehow. The cool, refreshing blast of Arctic mint combined with the sizzling goodness of fresh, crispy hot bacon right off the stove. Can YOU resist? We did.

Buy for $1.99

Conchords is the story of two New Zealand transplants hoping to make it big with their demented digi-folk songs. We only mention this in case somebody out there is living in a cave and hasn’t caught Conchordmania yet… If in case you haven’t, here’s one of our favorite clips thanks to YouTube. Take ten minutes out of your day and watch. Don’t worry, we’ve already ok’d it with your boss.

Thanks to NerdyShirts, the classic Conchords songs have been immortalized on a cotton canvas. The hilarious Business Time t-shirt has landed, here for you, and we feel its worth celebrating.

Here are the lyrics for the Flight of the Conchords song Business Time. Just try and resist getting one of the shirts after reading this:

I take off my clothes
But I trip over my jeans ’cause I’m still wearing my shoes
But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance.
The next thing you know I’m wearing absolutely nothing
Except for my socks
And you know when I’m down to my socks what time it
It’s business time
It’s business
It’s business time

Buy the Business Time T-shirt for $20.

If you haven’t already picked up your own copy of the Flight of the Conchords: Season One, pick up yours now!  You’ll thank us later.

Nothing says “welcome home” like a barcode doormat. I for one welcome our new robot overlords– and their demands for barcoded addresses. Regardless, this is one style I can buy into. Let’s see it in action:

Buy the Barcode Doormat for $24.99.

Nice kicks, dude. Check out the Binary doormat, after the break.