(image courtesy: much ado about nothing)

In a world full of pale lager beers, finding yours can be quite a feat. Between American industrial beers like Budweiser, Miller and Coors, there’s not a lot of room for distinction. Overseas, beers like Heineken, Becks, Amstel and Stella might be a slight upgrade– but these are often selected for appearance, more for the label than the flavor. Once you get outside of the fray of Big Brand Lagers, you start to find some enjoyable, exciting beers that you might miss otherwise. Of these, we suggest Birra Moretti, an Italian lager with a relaxed, fresh flavor and a friendly little bite. Like many other light, pale lagers, Birra Moretti is a smooth refreshing beer that is ideal for barbecues, well paired with many meals, light enough to last on late night rallies. You can find Birra Moretti at your local Whole Foods or beer/wine superstore. Instead of reaching for Bud, Heineken or Amstel, give Moretti a shot. You’ll thank us!

Buy: ~$8.00/six

Fans of stouts like Guinness and browns like Newcastle will want to take note of this week’s Beer of the Week. For the uninitiated, the Porter is an English-style beer with a flavor in between a stout and a brown ale– with the dark, dry flavors of chocolate like a stout, plus the malty sweetness and light fruit release of a brown. While the standard porter recipe was created nearly 300 years ago in England, similar recipes are growing quite strong in the US. Brewers like Sierra Nevada, Rogue, Bells and Flying Dog all brew excellent porters. Today, however, we’d like to share an English porter with such history that you can actually taste a beer brewed 200 years ago. Enter the Original Flag Porter by Darwin Brewery.

The Original Flag Porter is brewed with actual yeast from the 1820s.  In 1825, a vessel sank in the English Channel while transporting barrels of classic English porter.  In 1988, these barrels were raised to find that the beer was preserved and the yeast was still alive.  Darwin Brewery got ahold of these barrels and used the yeast in a classic porter recipe from 1850.  The result is a stunning, smooth English porter that has won awards and acclaim from beer lovers all over the world.  If you can find it, buy it right away– these are going fast, as Darwin is rumored to have discontinued production due to a limited supply of the classic yeast.

Buy: ~$3.00/bottle

(image courtesy: el fotopakismo)

Next time you’re selecting a Mexican beer to accompany your enchiladas, don’t ask for a Corona. You’re missing out on one of the best kept secrets in Mexican beers– Bohemia, brewed by Cuauhtemoc Montezuma brewery in Monterray, Mexico. If you’ve had Dos Equis, Sol or Tecate, you’ve tasted the craft of Cuauhtemoc Montezuma, but if you haven’t had Bohemia, you’re missing out on the mark of their mastery. Bohemia is a full bodied, rich lager with a soft, sweet bite to the finish. After a taste, you’ll not only find Bohemia superior to most Mexican ales, it will give Dutch and German beers a run for their money…

Buy: $1.39/bottle

There are many beers that claim to be “extreme.” They’re packed with hops, full of wild yeasts and strong in flavor. But could it get any more extreme than Samuel Adams’ newest batch of Utopias? Released once a year, Utopias is Sam Adams founder Jim Koch’s favorite baby. He nurtures it, reads it bedtime stories and takes it for strolls around the brewery. The result: a noncarbonated, room temperature concoction that’s been brewing for over 13 years with a staggering 27 percent alcohol by volume. That’s about twice as much as most wines. You’re supposed to taste hints of vanilla, caramel and fine oak. As if we know what that means. One thing’s for sure: sip with caution, as this limited offering retails for over $125. It will be easier to find at Morton’s Steakhouses for $27 for two ounces. Expect even scarier prices on eBay.

Belgium: the antithesis of Milwaukee, the Mecca of the discerning alcoholic. As educated beer drinkers, we raise our glasses often to praise the Flemish– for their gifts to humanity are most gracious. Among these gifts is GearCrave’s favorite white ale, Hoegaarden. Pronounced “Hoo-Garden”, this cloudy white ale is a light, citric experience in a 12 ounce bottle. Its color is a winter yellow, its taste yields lemon and cinnamon, its character is smooth and light. Next time you’re craving a wheat beer like Hacker Pschorr or a white ale like Blue Moon, reach for a Hoegaarden instead. You’ll thank us!

Buy at your local beer market.

Your humble GearCrave editor first tasted heaven-in-a-bottle in 1999 at the Hop Leaf in Chicago, Illinois. A 19-year-old at the time (don’t tell the cops), I plucked a ten spot down on the bar and asked the ‘tender for the absolute best beer in the business. Without thinking, he quickly brandished a bottle of Duchesse De Bourgogne. At first sip, my taste buds were humbled, knowing they had finally found love…

Close your eyes and imagine the perfect beer and exactly the right temperature, every time. That cold, satisfying feeling that only beer on tap right in your own man room, home bar, or kitchen can give? The Vinotemp beer tap has adjustable temperature, is C02-powered, and holds up to five liters. This is a green-friendly machine with it’s energy efficient thermo-electric cooling system, and comes with three C02 cartridges to get you started right. The beer is sadly not included. With the slick silver-n-black finish and whisper-quiet cooling, this is first class all the way.

Buy for $499

In part two of our how-to guide to looking great while you get smashed, we focus on those vital accessories: drinkware! In the same way that a wine lover would never pour Dom Perignon into a Simpson’s coffee mug, you should always never settle for second-best for your own drinking pleasure:

Tristan Highball Glasses

For mixed drinks, the highball glass is a tradition. Sure, you could stick an umbrella in there, but why would you want to? Serious drinkers like the way a highball glass puts that strong cocktail right into the back of your throat. You’re going to want more than just one. Buy for $31.99.

What could possibly be more manly than making your own premium micro brew? Any dork can crack open a bottle of Miller Lite, but you need some suds with your own damn name on ‘em. The Ultimate Edition Home Brewery Kit lets you do just that. Try out the Weizenbier Brew Pack, a great Southern German brew second only to the kit’s OctoberfestVienna Lager Brew. There’s enough in the Ultimate Edition kit to brew seven batches of beer, and once the guys have gotten hooked on your home brew, you can make them spring for the refill packs. They’ll pony up, just wait and see. The Ultimate Edition Home Brew Kit comes with eight reusable one-liter bottles, so all that’s left to do once you’ve gotten your kit is fire up the computer and start designing your own kick-ass microbrew label. We like “Ol’ Dirty Bastard Brewhaus” as a good starter name til you think up your own. You can thank us later.

Buy the Ultimate Edition home brew kit from MrBeer for $149.95.