Dr. Indiana Jones has become a great American hero for his adventurous, unique brand of archaeology. Throughout his career, Dr. Jones has captured history’s most legendary relics and iconography, risking life and limb against odds and enemies. Adventure, women and war seem to follow him wherever he goes, and his greatest fortune is his own survival. We sat down with the legend himself for a telling interview about his life, his past, and his perspective on it all.

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Most who know your story would consider you a hero, yet you seem reluctant to carry that title. Do you feel that the honor you’ve received is well placed?

A hero, huh (laughs)? I’ve been lucky enough that things have swung my way in difficult situations. No, I wouldn’t call myself a hero.

Looking at your history, you can’t deny that you’ve had an impact on the world. While you don’t feel you’ve been much of a hero, do you take any pride in achievements you’ve made?

Take for example my last great project, the Crystal Skull of Akator. It could have been an easy trip, just head down to the Amazon, speak with the locals, research the piece. But the (curses) Soviets had plans of their own that ruined my trip. I go from having a nice journey to the jungle to being a captive of the Soviets. Let me ask you something, have you ever been threatened with a car battery to the balls?

That doesn’t sound like fun. In spite of everything, you ended up succeeding in your quest for the Crystal Skull. Correct?

Thanks to some University and Government bureaucrats, I can’t open my mouth about that one. Hell, I can’t even take a (curses) without them watching at this point. All I can say is this: I’m alive, aren’t I?

You look a little shaken up to us, Dr. Jones.

(suffice it to say, Jones does not give us an admirable look in response to that question)

Let’s talk about your earlier projects, namely the Holy Grail, Arc of the Covenant, and other religious iconography.

Ok.

Do you feel that some religious relics hold powers beyond the world of men?

All I know is that I’ve seen a lot of weird things. I can’t say I believe any of it, it could all have been coincidental. You could say I’m a skeptic, even though I’ve been a witness to stranger things than most men see in a lifetime.

Like what?

I was once convinced that I saw a shaman pull a beating heart out of a man’s chest. I once revived my father with a cup of water that was supposedly the Holy Grail. I once overheard, but didn’t see, spirits ravage a group of soldiers after the Arc of the Covenant was opened. Look, I’m a skeptic to this day, but I’ve seen things that would make most men ask themselves some difficult questions.

Had you ever had to ask yourself these difficult questions?

I told you, I’m a skeptic to this day. Nothing I’ve seen couldn’t be explained by coincidence.

Yet you continue to search for these relics that all promise some sort of power we as humans don’t wield.

That’s a coincidence as well. I just go for the biggest and boldest, it just so happens they fall into your category.

Let’s talk about some of your allies in your adventures. Sallah has been a right hand man of sorts, a diplomat to the archaeological underground. What impact has he had on your successes?

Sallah is a friend, but I try not to spend too much time with him. For as good as a guy as he can be, its just hard to spend a lot of time with a man that doesn’t bathe and snores like a chainsaw. Every time I visit him, I bring him soap baskets and earplugs. He doesn’t seem to get the picture.

Ouch. I love his hat, though.

Yeah me too, I think that is why I hung out with him in the first place.

Are you still close to Short Roll from your adventures in Thailand?

You know what’s funny about Short Roll- he must be in his mid thirties right now, and he’s still four-foot-nothing with a voice as shrill as a locust. People look at me funny when I walk through the streets of Bangkok with him, I think they’re getting the wrong idea.

What about Chewbacca?

Who?

Chewbacca.

(turns to his publicist) Do you know what the hell this guy is talking about?

Nevermind, Dr. Jones. Let’s talk a bit about your personal life, if you don’t mind.

I guess…

Over the years, you never seemed to settle down. Do you ever plan on retiring?

That may be in the stars for some people, but not for me. I may not have the same body I had in my thirties, but I’ve still got the drive. If I go out, its not going to be in a god forsaken retirement community. I’ll go out my way, unless these damn politicians have their say about the matter.

What about the women in your life. You don’t seem to settle down there either.

I’ve got a great friend in Marion Ravenwood. In my line of work, friends are all I can afford. In the past, I’ve had friendships with some of my female students, I’ve met some interesting women abroad when on the job. But this is another thing that may not be in the stars for me.

In spite of your dedication to living out your life at work in archeology, do you ever get tired?

Of course, I’m a man for god’s sake. I need to take time off after these projects. Sometimes I talk like I’m done for good, but I never really mean it.

We wish you the best of luck, Dr. Jones, and we’ll keep a close eye on your career as you continue on. Thanks for your time, and give our best to your colleagues.

Thanks, will do.

Fans of Dr. Indiana Jones can catch the fourth documentary about Indiana Jones’ life, when following him through one of his great adventures. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opens in theaters today, May 22nd. For fans of the earlier films about Dr. Jones work, be sure to checkout the GearCrave giveaway, sponsored by Paramount, for three special edition packages of all of Indy’s earlier films. Also, our friends at GeeksOfDoom are holding a similar giveaway, sign up there as well for twice the chance of winning. Thanks for reading, and thanks to Dr. Indiana Jones for taking the time to speak with us.