(image courtesy: much ado about nothing)

In a world full of pale lager beers, finding yours can be quite a feat. Between American industrial beers like Budweiser, Miller and Coors, there’s not a lot of room for distinction. Overseas, beers like Heineken, Becks, Amstel and Stella might be a slight upgrade– but these are often selected for appearance, more for the label than the flavor. Once you get outside of the fray of Big Brand Lagers, you start to find some enjoyable, exciting beers that you might miss otherwise. Of these, we suggest Birra Moretti, an Italian lager with a relaxed, fresh flavor and a friendly little bite. Like many other light, pale lagers, Birra Moretti is a smooth refreshing beer that is ideal for barbecues, well paired with many meals, light enough to last on late night rallies. You can find Birra Moretti at your local Whole Foods or beer/wine superstore. Instead of reaching for Bud, Heineken or Amstel, give Moretti a shot. You’ll thank us!

Buy: ~$8.00/six

It might be wise to have your wits about you when throwing back shots of these liquors. The Hijos De Villa Tequila is shaped like a .45 stainless, and if you’re not careful it can do the same level of damage. The Scorpion Vodka speaks for itself. We have it on high accord that this vodka can sting you if you’re not careful… Bad puns aside, these are some dangerous drinks only suited toward those with big brass balls– or a love of fun gimmicks. They might be tough to find, but GearCrave will push you in the right direction. If you can find these liquors, feel free to invite us over for a drink!

Buy (Hijos De Villa Tequila): $59

Buy (Scorpion Vodka): $32

Fans of stouts like Guinness and browns like Newcastle will want to take note of this week’s Beer of the Week. For the uninitiated, the Porter is an English-style beer with a flavor in between a stout and a brown ale– with the dark, dry flavors of chocolate like a stout, plus the malty sweetness and light fruit release of a brown. While the standard porter recipe was created nearly 300 years ago in England, similar recipes are growing quite strong in the US. Brewers like Sierra Nevada, Rogue, Bells and Flying Dog all brew excellent porters. Today, however, we’d like to share an English porter with such history that you can actually taste a beer brewed 200 years ago. Enter the Original Flag Porter by Darwin Brewery.

The Original Flag Porter is brewed with actual yeast from the 1820s.  In 1825, a vessel sank in the English Channel while transporting barrels of classic English porter.  In 1988, these barrels were raised to find that the beer was preserved and the yeast was still alive.  Darwin Brewery got ahold of these barrels and used the yeast in a classic porter recipe from 1850.  The result is a stunning, smooth English porter that has won awards and acclaim from beer lovers all over the world.  If you can find it, buy it right away– these are going fast, as Darwin is rumored to have discontinued production due to a limited supply of the classic yeast.

Buy: ~$3.00/bottle

(image courtesy: el fotopakismo)

Next time you’re selecting a Mexican beer to accompany your enchiladas, don’t ask for a Corona. You’re missing out on one of the best kept secrets in Mexican beers– Bohemia, brewed by Cuauhtemoc Montezuma brewery in Monterray, Mexico. If you’ve had Dos Equis, Sol or Tecate, you’ve tasted the craft of Cuauhtemoc Montezuma, but if you haven’t had Bohemia, you’re missing out on the mark of their mastery. Bohemia is a full bodied, rich lager with a soft, sweet bite to the finish. After a taste, you’ll not only find Bohemia superior to most Mexican ales, it will give Dutch and German beers a run for their money…

Buy: $1.39/bottle

There are many beers that claim to be “extreme.” They’re packed with hops, full of wild yeasts and strong in flavor. But could it get any more extreme than Samuel Adams’ newest batch of Utopias? Released once a year, Utopias is Sam Adams founder Jim Koch’s favorite baby. He nurtures it, reads it bedtime stories and takes it for strolls around the brewery. The result: a noncarbonated, room temperature concoction that’s been brewing for over 13 years with a staggering 27 percent alcohol by volume. That’s about twice as much as most wines. You’re supposed to taste hints of vanilla, caramel and fine oak. As if we know what that means. One thing’s for sure: sip with caution, as this limited offering retails for over $125. It will be easier to find at Morton’s Steakhouses for $27 for two ounces. Expect even scarier prices on eBay.