The video game industry was never one for graceful exits. Publishers tend to immediately franchise their best games, putting them on a two-year production cycle until the cash runs out, then sending them off to a tragic end at the glue factory. For the sake of decency, we’re dreaming of five titles that should exit, now, while they’re ahead (or at least they were a few titles ago).

…but we’re not just haters. Some games, hiding in seclusion for one reason or another, really ought to come back, so every game that we spit bile at below is paired with love for another.  Enjoy, GearCravers– the 5 video game franchises that need to die and 5 that should be reborn.

Please Die: Super Mario Kart

Sales figures will tell you otherwise, but kart racing with Nintendo mascots is so played out. We understand that the Wii version had to be done, and hey, it is fun for the whole family, but now it’s time to go. It’d be quite a surprise if the Big N could pull out anything new from this series, and it’d be an even bigger shock if people realized that and stopped buying so many damned copies. On a side note, Waluigi needs his own game already. Seriously.

Please Come Back: F-Zero

The antithesis to Mario Kart’s cushy, handicap-laden racing, F-Zero forgives no one. Lean on the thumbstick a little too hard and you’ll end up in a bottomless pit. Use too much boost power and you’re set on fire the next time you hit a wall. Fall too far behind, and there’s no chance of catching up. This, of course, means that grandma won’t want to play with you, but as Nintendo slowly dips its toes into online multiplayer, it’s time to bring the hardcore together for some serious racing, sans banana peels.

Please Die: Metal Gear Solid

Hideo Kojima’s ponderings about war, the military industrial complex and governments run by robots were novel the first time, now it’s just trite. And as Solid Snake drifts further away from the stealth tactics that made him famous, it only becomes clearer that Metal Gear Solid has run its course, iPhone game be damned.

Please Come Back: Snatcher

Blissfully unaware of the phallic slang that now makes its title seem silly, Snatcher was way ahead of its time. The tale of mysterious beings who “snatch” human bodies and live inside their skin had all the hallmarks of a Hideo Kojima story: conspiracy theories, paranoia and, of course, governments run by robots. Unfortunately, the old technology of MSX2 and SegaCD held the game back from greatness. Kojima and Goichi Suda, designer of the masterpiece No More Heroes, are working on a radio drama based on the game, along with several other projects under the name “Project S.” Could another cyberpunk detective adventure be around the corner?

Please Die: The Legend of Zelda

2008 marked the first year in a decade that Nintendo hasn’t released a Zelda game. And you know what? That’s okay. While Twilight Princess and Phantom Hourglass might’ve been neat for anyone who didn’t grow up with the series, they’re just rehashes of the old formula (and playing as a wolf sucked). The series could possibly come alive again with a complete facelift, but it’s hard to imagine anything totally different that deserves the Zelda name and is still worth playing.

Please Come Back: Kid Icarus

If any concept is dying for a Wii remake (yeah, we know, a “Wiimake.” Har har.), it’s Pit’s arrow-flinging quest to defeat the evil Medusa. Untouched since the original Nintendo Entertainment System game, but fondly remembered, it’s surprising the Big N hasn’t milked Kid Icarus for all it’s worth. In any case, we’re ready for the cash-in.

Please Die: Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic had his chance. Actually, between Sonic Adventure for the Dreamcast and the recent Sonic Unleashed, the blue hedgehog with a ‘tude had roughly a half dozen chances to stay relevant. Unfortunately, all we’ve seen are failed attempts at 3D, half-baked genre crossovers and an occasional relapse into the same-old 2D platforming. We’re not convinced, but the masses love it (anything with Sonic sells like hotcakes), so our wish won’t likely come true.

Please Come Back: Vectorman

We can totally imagine using the Wii remote to manipulate the eponymous character’s spherical parts, building weapons and transportation mechanisms and then utilizing them with motion controls. But an Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 version would be good too, as long as the run-and-gun platforming remained intact. Sega announced a next-gen Vectorman for the Playstation 2 in 2003, but canned it a half year later. Instead of beating a dead Sonic, Sega should consider reviving this 16-bit classic for real.

Please Die: Halo

Halo 3: ODST, we imagine, will be like that last trip to the bathroom after a night at the bar. Get it out of your system, Bungie, because we want to see you turn a new leaf. That means no Marathon, no Halo story involving another Spartan and please, no more map packs that we have to pay for. Halo: Combat Evolved successfully turned the first-person shooter on its head. Please, Bungie, go do that with something else.

Please Come Back: Doom

First of all, we’re not talking about this nonsense of creeping around in the dark with a flashlight. Doom III was fine, but we want the real deal. Put us in a hallway full of cacodemons, give us a double-barreled shotgun and make us strafe and shoot until our virtual knees buckle. The original Doom had some spooks, but the greatest thrills came from the endless corridors of mindless carnage. In other words, Doom should once again be something for Jack Thompson to get pissed about.

Thanks for reading, GearCravers, Diggers, Stumblers and otherwise.  Which titles do think should be put out of their misery?  Which are we out of our minds for including here?  Is there another game that you love that you think should be franchised?  Let us know in the comments.  In the mean time, please share this article with your friends– and give it a vote in your favorite social media website.