Casino Card Etiquette 101: How to Hit the Casino Like a Pro

James Bond brings a license to kill to the poker table, but what have the rest of us got? Nothing but luck, a bit of skill, and your ability to put on a bluff. Card games in a casino don’t work the same as playing with your buddies on poker night– and experienced casino gamblers will spot a newcomer a mile away. Seasoned casino players shift their strategies to take full advantage, but you don’t need a pistol to get that advantage back. Want to know how to own the casino before you set foot in the door? Look no further. Even if you’re a hopeless card fumbler, you can lose your hard-earned cash with the confidence of a seasoned high-stakes gambler with our handy guide to playing casino cards in style.

Sometimes, first impressions are the most important. Don’t reveal your “casino mark” status by trying to walk right into a game. Some casinos do let you walk right up to a table, grab an empty chair and start playing. Others are more formal, and you may need to sign in and be given a table before you can play. It all depends on where you are. Learn how to join a game properly. The window where slot machine winners collect their cash is good place to start, just ask the attendant if there’s an assignment system for the tables, buy some chips, and you’ll get off to a good start. Once you know what’s what, remember the following:

• Know your table. Don’t join a high-minimum bid table if you are learning the ropes. It’s the fastest way to end your night at the casino unless you like watching OTHER people win.
• If you don’t know how to play a game, don’t play. Don’t bother with Texas Hold ‘Em when all you can play is Five Card Stud. Find a table with a game you know well enough to play with a bit of confidence. It’s totally obvious to the sharks when you don’t really know the game.
• When the cards come, remember the phrase “poker face”. It’s easy to forget in the flush of your first success at the casino table.
• You can check a bad opening hand if you are first to go, or if the other players before you have already checked. If all the players check, you get the next card for free. This is better than folding any day, but much depends on your fellow players.
• You don’t have to play a bad hand. Folding is good when you don’t feel the game is going your way. Don’t hang in there out of pride.

Getting a into a game is the easy part. Knowing what to do once those cards come flying at you is another. For starters, most casinos don’t use a single deck of cards in low-stakes games. You can be faced with two decks or more, so it’s very tough to use your “at home” card strategies when it comes to figuring the odds. To make things more complicated, newbies have to learn table etiquette. If you handle your cards or your bet incorrectly, you can void your hand, regardless of how good it was.

• At most casinos, any card which touches the scratch pile is automatically thrown out. If the dealer misdeals, if you fumble your cards, if Loki himself snatches it out of your hand and it touches the discard pile, it’s gone. Keep your cards under your control.
• Some people think it’s cute to put “charms” or weights on their cards, but some casinos have a rule about foreign objects on their tables. Don’t put anything on the table the casino didn’t give you. Your chips and cards are fine, but don’t let ANYTHING else touch that table if you know what’s good for you. You want to hold down your cards? Put a poker chip on ‘em.
• Place your bets in front of you. The dealer will collect and distribute the chips. Anything short of this can cost you the hand. Never toss the chips into the betting pile, it can create a dispute over how much you actually threw in. And the house wins all disputes. Remember this rule and you will do well.
• ALWAYS keep your cards above the table.
• Don’t bet out of turn.
• Don’t run out of chips in the middle of play. When the cards are in play, the table is considered sacred and you can’t start diving into your pockets for cash. One transaction at a time, as it were. If you run low, buy more chips before the cards are dealt. Sure, some casinos are more lenient about this than others, but better safe than sorry.

Bottom line, the most important rule to know? The dealer is GOD. What the dealer says goes, and it doesn’t matter what else you think you know. When in doubt, ask the dealer. Got a problem? Tell the dealer. The house makes the rules, it’s their world. After the dealer, your fellow players are worth paying close attention to. You will encounter some, if not all of the following:

• The dabbler–the guy who doesn’t hit the casino but once in a blue moon, plays for fun, and doesn’t mind losing a fair amount. Not always a sucker, but usually good for many losing hands.
• The retired couple on vacation–keep your eyes on these friendly card sharks. They know the game better than three of you, and those smiling faces conceal a lifetime of evil card knowledge which WILL be used against your first-time-at-the-tables ass.
• The slightly tipsy wannabe–alcohol and cards go together like lawyers and bankruptcy hearings. You’re in a moneymaking situation with one of these fools. Just don’t BE that fool. And beware of the lady PRETENDING to be one of these.
• “I Coulda Been A Contender”–probably tried out for the World Series of Poker, and washed out miserably. Overconfident, but lucky. Watch your back.
• Dude on a winning streak: Don’t even try to beat him, but keep your eye on the other players to spot their weaknesses. You don’t have to go head-to-head with Mr. Lucky when you can pressure a player demoralized by Mr. Lucky.

When you play casino games, you’ll soon learn about hot tables and dead tables. There is nothing wrong with ditching a table because the game has gone stale. Maybe the table is hot, but YOU ain’t got game. Cut your losses and walk away for a bit. If you want to join a new table, you’ll either have to ask for a new assignment or wait for a player to leave so you can claim the vacant seat. It’s polite to ask before joining just in case the player is coming back, but first come, first served may apply in cases where no table assignments are needed.

To ensure you actually ENJOY the casino, set a spending limit before you walk in the door. If you tell yourself that you’d spend X amount of money on dinner, drinks, and a movie for two you’ll have the experience as pure entertainment. The guy who walks into a casino with the idea of making money has already lost, they just don’t know it yet. You are there to enjoy, not to earn. You will never fail to have fun with that attitude.